One minute i held the key

What.

2009-04-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

here i am again!

apologies for not blogging for so long! ( is there even anyone reading?) :)

summary of what has been happening!

cheng is in taiwan, fiona quit her job, sheila's gonna be driving real soon, we have a secret event coming up, i have been interviewed by 7 japanese bosses, landed myself a well paying job, gone shopping, burst my budget, fiona burst her credit too, finally had sushi tei again ( disappointment), clubbed, prawned, and ate too much.

I won't let myself be manipulated like this!

Faith is low, hope is low.

Honesty and betrayal. Which would you choose? Really.

people just need to know when to stop.

2009-04-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

People need to learn when to stop. They need to learn to take a step back and realize where they have gone wrong. They need to suck it up and move on from there. They need to realize they aren't the only humans around. People run out of patience. They run out of wanting to believe.Mistakes made, could be forgiven. Mistakes come in all shapes and sizes. They come in all colours too. Only difference between mistakes and repeated mistakes is that each time the price to pay is different. And, this time this is me for you, i am your price to pay.

Think I'll walk me outside, and buy a rainbow smile

2009-03-29T02:58:00.000-07:00

I love Blythe baby!

Thurs- Interview. Than, met up with with girls in towners. Had Botak Jones for dinner.

" Eh sheila, wait for you till botak jones grow hair already." Damn funny!

Bumped into Eug and Guo Wei. And they joined us for dinner. Guo Wei is still extra annoyingly entertaining. Checked our babies out and they are so cute. But there isn't one that really caught my eye yet. Talkin about fate. ;) Rion came down awhile to meet Eug and than they left shortly after. I've got Twilight Special Edition now. Edward Cullen. haha. you are mine! Was suppose to check out gimme love or something but we were too late. Nel came down after work. Had Strawberry Tart at Spins than when XX came, we headed down to Clarke Quay. Had drinks over at Fashion Bar than to BQ to chill. BQ is infested with bengs with mullet hair. ;/ But it's cool cause we never go any further than home club and coffee shop. Haha, it was almost dawn and so we headed home!

Friday- Met up with Rion,JoJo and Eleannor. Picked Jo and Ele up at cine which was super doooper crowded than was deciding between Keppel Club or Dempsey. So we ended up at Dempsey. It was kinda funny because Dempsey had a lot of unpleasant memories. Had BJ there, and chilled for awhile. Headed to check House out, i like that place. I want to hold something there sometime. Walked over to wine company. Blue cheese is delicious. So there we were, 4 of us slacking the night away. Tj Pagar later on for supper. Fun!

Saturday- Sheila owns her 1st LOVE!!!!!!!

Oh well. I had fun this week end. And i want more fun, less squabbles and less bad days! :)

I'm Sorry.

2009-03-25T04:13:00.000-07:00

What can i say?
It's tiring living in delusional thoughts all day. Scary thing is these thoughts that were once your own come back to haunt you each time they resurface.
There's a reason why I am doing this. I need to be looking out for myself. Whatever the reason might be, I have to do this for myself.
I cannot allow myself to care. It will shatter every rational thought in my head. I want to be thinking for myself now.
I need to be on my way to building up my life and i want to learn to do it myself this time.
I am alone, I am just trying to let go, to find myself a better life, a better place in this world.
So, here i am. This is me.
This is me for now.
Selfish.
Just let me be.

lost.

2009-03-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

I'm scared of myself at times.
I need to find myself.
And this time, i won't falter.

Chasing time. I am chasing time.
Wait up for me.

move your body, everybody!

2009-03-22T13:27:00.000-07:00

Psychedelic Lovin!

Pictures from yesterday. :)

And today, i felt that little bit of emptiness in my heart. I wish i could say i had it all.
<3 me

We won't let it go for nothing.

2009-03-21T02:19:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful day yesterday! :)
Met Kenneth in town and i wasn't exactly late.
Had dinner at Swensens! ( * digs throats )
One Degree 15, Yummy Hoegardens, Matchsticks, Yatches, Getting lost at Sandy Island.
After that headed to towners with Kenneth to meet X,Sheila,Nel,Yang
We got lost again. I think i'm a lousy GPS. Hah!
Waited for them at wheelock and we headed to to Boat Quay for some BarchorrMee!
Chilled over there for a couple of hours,laughing and talking bull.
Was coming 2 i suppose and Kenneth had to be back so the rest of us headed to Esplanade to find Fiona.
Haha, not bad k? not bad la k?
Went to play the adrenaline rush and fiona refused to get up on the thing while me,sheila and nel conquered that shit again!
Headed to DimSum place later to meet Jason and Bedahhh and was greeted by a table of effing rude people but it was all cool. Had supper than we went for happy time. Or at least they did some happy time!
:) :)
Got home coming to 8 and fell asleep till now. Im such a bummer.
Meeting G later on for some trancing than need for speed tomorrow!
Cheers!

pictures!

2009-03-19T03:34:00.001-07:00

I just wanna be alone tonight, i just wanna take a little breather..

2009-03-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

So, i wanna start blogging proper again! :)

No reason why, i guess im ready now to let words flow again and in case one day i wake up not remembering anything. I still have this to fall back on. Some memories so precious, they will never get lost in time.

It has been rather mundane recently, but i am getting on fine. Most of the time is spent looking for a damn job. Jobsdb has officially become my best friend and Straits times has found it's home beside my bed. I'm really praying i get that job! Chances are lookin pretty slim though. Been hanging out with the girlies and what can i say? You'll never find a group of friends like mine. So, irritatingly annoying, late most of the time, squabbling over stupid issues, but so tight, and so real.

This few weeks have been rather painful. It took me awhile to snap out of it. However, there are times i miss the comfort of our smiles cause those times when we laughed together, it was real :)

I thank my friends for being there for me, for watching me crumble and fall and making sure i begin to pick myself up. I miss my comfort zone but, I am better.

So, in summary, i've been eating pasta mania too many times, hung out in town till boredom flows out from my ears, chilled at jkayu over disgusting prata and tehpeng, gloria jeans and happy time, saw cows and nearly killed myself with my contacts on those rough roads, went go karting and got lapped about 8 times minimum, broke my nails during rock climbing, had a super fufilling meal at fish n co, found my paradise at sentosa cove, picnic under moonlight at dam with nickii cutey shetland and crazy people, watched marley and me and cried my ass off, had sheesha and yummy arab food, had a house partay at bianca's, bummed at sheila's and had freaking reckless fun with them all, met up with best pork, had swensens yummy, learned about the new dance tecktronik, fell down at ikea, clarke quay-ed with the babes. I can't remember anymore just that many of the stuff were happening every other day. I missed east coast, missed fishing, missed having yogurt and fondue, missed early mornings.

Tomorrow's gonna be pretty fine! I can't wait to meet K for dinner!! Than, sunday we're going in for some drifting!

Here are some pictures to lighten the boring post! :)

Till then,

me :)

all that you left behind, are memories of a different life.

2008-11-30T20:53:00.001-08:00

it's monday and there's no school again. tuning in to my ipod and lazing on the bed. words seem to want to flow.....

i think it's one of those days whereby i'm feeling low. lets talk about relationships and love. no matter how morbid thoughts get, people still keep searching for it.
i guess i have been in a couple of relationships but till now i can' t fully say i know what i want. I always seem to be looking for something i don't know what. haha. sometimes when i think back, i feel really foolish for doing the things i did in the past. However, i believe that closing doors often mean opening ones. You'll just have to wait for that moment. Sometimes, i still revisit the memories of the past, those bittersweet ones that made me who i am today. There were so many instances i felt i could have done so much more. Though skeptical about people, i am still ready to trust. Just maybe, i still want to believe.

Wed - Met up with XX over at tampines for dinner and than starbucks. It was good catching up with her. She always makes me laugh. We spoke about almost everything from the past to the present. Sheila was supposed to join us but she was darn tired and having some problems with nel. Headed down to 85 and wanted to eat chicken wings but it was closed. So slacked there and so coincidently saw gerald. I was walking with XX when i realized that this guy looked extraordinary familiar and he was peeking up looking at me too. And, best part of it all sitting right infront of him was Jovan. Haha. It was a classic moment. I haven't seen both of them in months. It was good see ing Jovan, talking to him always gives me the reassurance. Given the fact that he has always been there and only one call away makes him the best! It was raining crocodiles and potatoes, so headed home soon after.

Thurs - School it was than home for me. Fizzles and i had a long chat in the bus. It made me appreciate the people around me more, and the friendships i've gained along the way. After fizzles alighted, i had a really pleasant surprise! That surprised made me miss my stop and i had to walk all the way back. But, it's worth it because it made my day! =)

Friday - Thank God it's the weekends! Zae followed me and fizzles back to the east after school. While Fizzles went home to get ready, Zae came over. I found a freaking cute white persian cat. I saw it in the morning before i got up the cab to school and when i got back it was still there. It had the prettiest eyes i've ever seen. Those crystal clear blue ones. I just wanted to bring it home but i know that i can't afford another animal. I don't think ben and meow can accomodate another. Nevertheless i still tried my luck. I went upstairs and told Mummy that there was this super adorable cat downstairs and she knew about it. She said it had been there for a couple of days. It than struck me that the reason why it was so skinny and dirrty was caused it haven't had a proper meal since some fucked person left it there or it wandered off and got lost. So, i brought some food down for the poor thing. She seemed pretty scared of me, but when i placed the food on the floor she came and gobbled it all up. She must be so hungry. Those eyes of hers pierced through my own and touched my soul. Zae was making noise that i had better go up and shower soon caused every body was waiting for us over at downtown. And so i went, and the kitty followed me up but ran away after Ben barked at her. I hope she found her way back some how or some kind soul would adopt her...
Headed down to ehub to meet the rest. Wanted to bowl but we were really late and the lanes were all fully booked. Wandered around and waited for awhile but we were like 173 on the reserve list and it was only 131 on the screen. Decided to head down for some drinks. It was really fun because we managed to see the retarded side of many people. Played some drinking games and it was really cute because they were playing the Hai Dai game standing up and all. The rest of the night was awesome! Got home, washed up and dashed straight to my bed.

Saturday - Fizzles woke me up at 3. Telling me it is raining and all. They had already booked the lanes at 1 because they were unhappy that they didn't get to play the night before. Haha. Joined them after bowling with Zae as she came down to meet me. Headed down to town with the rest. Met Kenneth and Terry over at cine. Had our dinner at pasta mania. Took a couple of pictures with his SLR so i've to wait till i see him to post them up. The banana pizza and some custard thing is delicious! After dinner, hung out awhile than Kenneth had to run some errands for his mommy so he dropped us over there and came to meet us later. The car ride was very funny because we opened his sun roof and it was time for some ROCK AND ROLL. haha =) XX and the rest just reached cine and by the time i had already left! Sorry babes. We opened a bottle of Martell and had 2 towers. Surprisingly i wasn't high! But ZAE was, and so was YT. Left about 5, than headed down to Pasir ris to chill with the babes. It was too much humour to take for the morning. haha! I love spending time with them. No matter how tired, it is still worth it.

Sunday - Was supposed to have lunch with momzies in towners. But i had to wake up at 10.30! I only fell asleep proper at about 8 i guess. So i had to give lunch a miss. Woke up about one and fumbled out of bed cause michelle called and told me to get my ass down. Wow, i was incredibly tired. Headed down to town and the fuck uncle took PIE instead of ECP and jammed all the damn way. My taxi fare was 18 plus when it could actually be like 13? Followed mumzies around, we were looking at baby clothing for little Chloe. I can't wait to have my own kids too. I will dress them in the cutest pieces and give them all the edgiest clothes! Went into Burberry's kids and wow, their little frocks are sooooo cute i would wear them too if they had it in adults. Walked around for awhile till about 7 than A.Grace sent us back. I was so tired i dozed off in the car. Came home, mummy cooked dinner for me. So sweet of her! Slept really early.

TODAY!

I woke up feeling fresh like a flower. Now waiting for the loves to wake and will probably head out. Meeting momzies to hopefully get my new phone. WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Mundane day made fun!

2008-11-25T17:26:00.000-08:00

Hot Stuff. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

if you told me to cry for you, i could.

2008-11-23T21:31:00.000-08:00

and so here i am. back with blogger wanting to pen my thoughts down once again.

this year has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. however, it was definately better than the previous.

so to sum up 2008, it has taken me to my highest and lowest posts in my life.

I'm finding difficulties typing what i feel because i think i've so much penned up emotions inside that when i finally wanna share, it takes up so much effort. hah.

so till i find that breather to post all the thoughts i feel, let me update you all with snippets of my life.

I have 3 best girls with me. Namely, XX, Sheila,Fiona.

They are my life. I look forward to see ing them each time i do. We've been friends for a really long time. We have seen each other through everything, seen the good days through the rainy ones. We know each other's dirrrrrty little secrets. This 3 girls have stood by me through everything and i know they are just one call away. I love each and everyone of you. Ps: I can't wait to travel again!

Moving to the boys, who some of them are the boyfriends of my girls.. haha. Yang, Nelson, Samuel, Sean, Amos, Yifeng, Jon. They have been the craziest bunch of people i've ever met. And Poly life was made super fun. From golf, to zouk prawn mee, to all the awesome food we had together, to the older days whereby yang, samuel and the rest would hang out till the wee hours at bukit batok, to samuel crashing his car!?!?! I miss each and every moment of that. I love you all for being there for me, for driving miles to see me when i'm down. Thanks for everything, thanks for everyone of you. =)

Now for the people who have made my life a bundle of joy this couple of months and some weeks, my new classies. Fizzles, YT, Terry, Zul, Kenneth, Germs, Cantankerous, Joycey, Moy. They have been a bunch of crazy CS-ing fools, with a passion for cigarettes and beer. With Fizzles and his nonsense, YT with her dok dok dok, its enough to keep my life happy and satisfied.

And Fizzle's bunch of people, though its a really short time to say anything much, i have seen a kind of friendship from them which is so united and genuine. It is a friendship not many people will get to experience in a life time. =)

And to Bianca, Omar, Bertrand, Geena, you guys will always be my favourite people of all time. I really miss that very table and our mini get together sessions. I haven't seen ya'll in ages and the very last time was really short cause we've all got school and work. I miss you all!

All in all, i love my life, i love the people who stepped into my life leaving beautiful memories that i will never forget.